Teaching kids your Emotions Aren’t the Enemy—They’re the Guide
Ah yes, the very things many of us go out of our way to avoid—our emotions. While some are easier to handle than others, emotions serve a crucial purpose, offering insight into our values, experiences, and the actions we need to take.
That tightness in your chest or knot in your stomach? Anxiety can be a motivator, pushing you to complete a task or take precautions, like babyproofing your home. Sadness after a loss reminds us to slow down and allow space for healing. Anger can drive us to protect those we love and stand up for the causes that matter most. Psychological research shows that simply recognizing and naming our emotions enhances emotional regulation and helps us communicate more effectively with those around us. Instead of avoiding feelings, we can learn from them.
So how do we help our kids learn to recognize and begin better regulating their emotions? Consider doing some of the following with your child:
Spend more time engaging in interactive, face-to-face play with your child, and use those moments to model emotional regulation—like saying, “Oh rats, the tower fell! That’s frustrating. Let’s take a deep breath and rebuild it together.”
Mirror and help them name their emotions: “You seem excited! Tell me more.”
Help practice emotional regulation: Ask them how they’re feeling today or “I see you’re feeling *blank*. What’s making you feel this way?”
Have kids practice journaling how their feeling. For for younger children have them draw their feelings (happy face, sad face etc)
Have post-reaction discussions. After a meltdown gently bring up questions like “what were you feeling in that moment?” “What do you think we could do differently in the future?”
Further reading:
Greater Good Science Center – The Science of Naming Emotions
Child Mind Institute – How to Help Kids Understand Their Emotions
Disclaimer: This blog isn’t connected to my role as a physician, and nothing here should be considered medical advice.